Now, I have friends with boys, and they have told me certain things. For instance, he WILL pee on you at some point; there is no two ways about it. Well, it has been two weeks and he has not peed on me yet. He has peed on himself though, right in his eye actually. For the tiniest fraction of a second I felt bad for not covering his wiener up when changing his diaper, then I quickly realized how hilarious it was. I laughed, and now I put a washcloth over his tackle when changing his diaper, because while it was funny, too much of anything is not a good thing.
But this is about poop not pee. I was sitting in the living room when I hear my wife scream. Instantly the fear grips me. Did she drop him on his head? Has he stopped breathing? I run back to his room to find my wife holding him in front of her like, well a baby that has crapped all over the place. It is EVERYWHERE! UP her shirt, DOWN her pants, on the floor. Because it was not me, it was one of the funniest things I have ever seen. I’ve noticed that being a mom removes all modesty you had in life, and that was just another example. I would include a picture, but she was breastfeeding at the time and had one of her milk factories hanging out. Yes, I did take a picture before I helped her. My day is coming.